The December 2, 2015, post focused on the relative weakness of the verb “to be” and the recommendation to look for a livelier verb in the editing process. (For example, instead of Several of us were wondering who will be the new captain, we can make that Several of us were wondering who will emerge as the new captain.)
But even when we don’t fall back on that go-to verb “to be,” we can sometimes do better. Analyze these three cases in point.
Our new, four-tiered homework policy for high school students has affected grade-point averages. The verb in this sentence is a verb phrase, “has affected.” Can we improve this? Yes. The perfectly good verb “affect” sometimes misses the target because it can be vague. Did the new policy discourage students somehow and backfire, or did it light a fire, resulting in better report cards?
Because “affect” cuts both ways, let’s say what we mean. We can use “has increased” or “has raised” if the program is working, but “has reduced” or “has lowered” if the program needs fixing.
Ever since Betty altered her speeches, she has been getting many more engagements. What kind of alteration did Betty make to heighten her popularity? Sometimes, when we read “altered” or “changed” we need the next sentence to complete the picture. But our readers are in a hurry, so why tease them? Maybe Betty shortened her speeches or integrated videos in them or found a way to enhance them with pop culture references. Then let’s say that instead of “altered.”
We can document that the increase in team meetings is impacting* production. Hmm. Are the more frequent meetings helping or hurting? If we write “is boosting production” or “is improving production,” the reader will know. And if we write “is slowing” or “is hampering,” the reader will also know.
* Note that some fussy writers (yeah, I’m one of them) almost never use “impact” as a verb because in its strictest sense it refers to an actual crash. (“The shell impacted the abandoned schoolhouse.”) But I like using it as a noun (“… made an impact on sales”), as long as there’s no ambiguity about whether sales went up or down.
In addition to presenting workshops on writing in the workplace, Norm is a writer, editor, and writing coach. His 100+ Instant Writing Tips is a brief “non-textbook” to help individuals overcome common writing errors and write with more finesse and impact. Learn more at http://www.normfriedman.com/index.shtml.