In elementary school many of us learned we were starting too many sentences with “I,” and we corrected that. But in the working world, where forging relationships with clients, colleagues, vendors, and others is so critical to success, many of us have discovered that liberal use of the personal pronouns “you,” “we,” and, yes, “I” is smart. Our writing should be professional and friendly.
So should we still keep in mind our schoolteachers’ wisdom about the overuse of “I”? Sure. Everything in moderation, right? Here, then, is a brief exercise designed to help you convey that “it’s not all about me.” Aim for one “I” per sentence instead of two.
I am following up on the email I sent you recently regarding your ability to meet with our team in late March.
Substituting “my” often does the trick while slightly shortening the number of words: I am following up on my recent email regarding your ability to meet with our team in late March.
I have known Sid for many years, and I can certainly vouch for his work ethic and integrity.
Starting with a participle (-ing word) is useful. Here, two versions come quickly to mind: Having known Sid for many years, I can certainly vouch for his work ethic and integrity. OR Knowing Sid for many years, I can certainly vouch for his work ethic and integrity.
After I completed the draft proposal, I ran it by Kim and Tony.
Here’s the participle to the rescue again, but not as the opening word: After completing the draft proposal, I ran it by Kim and Tony.
I can interview our candidate at 10 on Thursday, or I can meet her anytime Friday afternoon.
And probably the most basic fix is eliminating words that are repetitious anyway: I can interview our candidate at 10 on Thursday or anytime Friday afternoon.
A great use of “I”
Although we might want to guard against using “I” repeatedly in a message, one place I like using it is next to “hope.” Note the difference in impact:
Hopefully, you’ll feel a lot better next week.
I hope you’ll feel a lot better next week.
Even though just who is doing the hoping is ambiguous in the first example, many experts do not mind this construction. I do, however, because if I’m hoping something for an individual I want the person to feel the personal connection.
In addition to presenting workshops on writing in the workplace, Norm is a writer, editor, and writing coach. His 100+ Instant Writing Tips is a brief “non-textbook” to help individuals overcome common writing errors and write with more finesse and impact. Learn more at http://www.normfriedman.com/index.shtml.